


Bread and Circuses

by Tateopotaoe



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dystopia, Gay, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29975352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tateopotaoe/pseuds/Tateopotaoe
Summary: TJ and Jamie are happy. They love each other, and already have plans to move in together. They're happy enough that they don't question the fence surrounding their town, or the few people that go missing every year after the traveling circus comes to town. That all changes when Jamie is taken, dissolving the happiness that blinded TJ to the ominous nature of the things that surround him.





	1. The Tower

**Chapter 1**

The train barreled through the station. The wheels ripped apart the flora that grew around the steel tracks and the screech of the breaks carried through the cheers of the crowd that filled the typically barren stone station. The train was as wide as most houses in Tetralgia, each car wide enough to carry various attractions available to the public. After waiting for numerous cars to pass, the open-aired center finally came and stopped in front of the plexiglass podium carrying the mayor and his speech. He gestured to the various stages and tents scattered across the central car. Most of it was well-groomed, but several panicked workers corrected flaps of tents blown astray by the wind that came with such fast travel.

_ Why are there so many cars? _

“The Circus is here again!” The crowd nearly began screaming with Mayor Phillips’s first words. People were excited and for good reason. The circus meant fun and games. It meant food, visitors, new people to spend money at local stores. Our economy rarely flourished, but when the circus came, everybody got to feel rich.

“We are happy to welcome yet another fantastic show this year, I’m sure. I hope you’re all excited!”

The crowd erupted again.

_ Who pays the performers? _

“That’s  _ fabulous _ .” His lips lingered on the word and his face tightened, as if it was supposed to cue something far less exciting.

Fire blossomed behind him, huge firecrackers sprinkling embers over the town’s population. From the center of the fire, a man emerged.

Adorned with a plum suit outlined by a fushia hem, he was someone everybody knew. He took his similarly-colored top hat off and bowed, leaning on his dark cane for support.

“THE RINGMASTER!” Mayor Phillips screamed. Tension scrunched his face as he furiously clapped. His hands became red with the effort of the impact.

_ What’s his name? _

“Now now, no need to make a fuss for little old me”, he drawled, straightening his back. “Such a nice town! I love Tetralgia, don’t you?” More cheers as people dressed in disgustingly colorful unitards filed out of the tents, clapping. There was more of a speech, but I didn’t pay attention. It was the same every year. Similar enough, anyway.

_ Best show yet! _ Cheering.

_ Unforgettable!  _ Cheering.

_ Most fun you’ve had in ages!  _ Cheering.

After what felt like hours of nonsense, the Ringmaster finally said what he said every year, without fail.

“And without further ado… let the celebration begin!”

The hollers became unbearably loud, and coupled with the music now blaring from unseen speakers, I was getting a headache. I turned against the current of people and walked home.

_ Where’s Jamison _ ?

We don’t ask questions. Not about the train; we aren’t supposed to. It isn’t even a law, just an extremely prevalent cultural rule. Questions brought stares, sometimes even slaps. Why question something that was so good? It didn’t do any bad to us, so it wasn’t our problem what skeletons may be hiding in various train cars. I felt differently.

Something that helps accentuate the grandeur of the circus was the sheer monotony of Tetralgia. There were four quadrants to our rectangular colony. 

The North-Eastern quadrant was the residential sector. Identical houses lined a pristine asphalt road, with small parks every three blocks. 

The South-East quadrant was the shopping district, considered by most to be the interesting sector. A variety of shops sit adjacent to each other; a large stone fountain lies in the center. The train station was on the southernmost edge. Almost everyone worked in this sector.

The North-West sector was the simplest. It was used for farming, so there wasn’t much but open fields overflowing with various crops. 

The final quadrant was my favorite. The South-West held a decently large forest that I liked to spend my free time in. That’s where I was headed now.

As it always is whenever the Circus comes around, the weather was beautiful. Sunlight filtered through the leaves overhead, dappling golden rays across the mossy floor. One of the things I liked best was the blankets of moss that covered most of the forest floor. I walked for about an hour before coming to the forest’s edge. Ahead of me was the typical rows of evergreen obscuring a towering fence locking us in our city. 

_ Why are we locked in _ ?

Questions, questions. Jamison always said I had too many of them. He has just as many, he just doesn’t tend to ask them. I sat in our regular spot, a dip in the ground next to a small stream. It would be a while before he showed up. Hating the Circus, predictably, was not a common opinion. Even though Jamison shared my questions, he dismissed the suspicion that came with them. 

I watched various creatures make their way through the forest while I waited. Today was especially entertaining, as I got to see two hawks and a fox. Predators tended to be a rarity in such small woods. As the sky began to turn orange and the sun sat just above the horizon, a rabbit darted from in between the pines.

_ Where did it come from? _

I walked over to the spot it broke through the trees and pushed aside the dense pine needles. A small break stood out starkly from the otherwise pristine chain link fence. For a second I wanted to run. Shimmy through the fence and just leave. But more questions began to halt my escape. Where would I go? Why would I leave? Despite the ominous undertones of our society, it was a relatively good one. Crimes are extremely rare.

Even if people go missing sometimes.

“See something good?” Jamison’s voice caused me to jerk around in a much more severe reaction than warranted. “Whoah, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Yeah, no I- I just saw a rabbit, that’s all.” I stammered. What good would telling him do? It’s not like we could go anywhere. Besides, I don’t think either of us could fit through the fence unscathed.

Jamison stood tall against the shrubs surrounding him, though he was only slightly above average height. His dirty golden hair shone in the evening light and his emerald eyes complement the lush greenery surrounding him. He sat in our spot and patted the ground beside him. 

“Come on, sit.”

He held out his hand and I took it in mine. His olive skin contrasted with my bronze hands. I rest my head on his shoulder. We kept our relationship largely a secret; people have been trying to pair us for ages, and we didn’t want to give them the satisfaction.

“What are we going to do?” he asked. We had just turned 20 in the spring. That meant that in just a few months we would have to find jobs.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “I’m excited though. We can finally earn our own money! I’m still not sure what I want to apply for, though.”

“Come on, you  _ have _ to apply for the job at the Menagerie! You’re so good with animals! And I know you’d have to work with the circus occasionally, but I think it’s worth it.”

“Tons of people want that job.”

“But only one deserves to get it.”

“Sure I do.”

“You? I was talking about me!”

I laughed, hard. He had always been considerably less interested in fauna as a whole. But he cared that I cared, and that was enough for me. I’d like to move in with him when the time comes, but we had to kiss, first. I lifted my head and stared at his ginger lips. He stared back at me, cheeks rosy with joy. Was he thinking about what I couldn’t stop considering? Moments have come, but I’ve let them pass. Am I ready? Besides, we have plenty of time.

I sat my head back down and we watched the setting sun overlaid with the gray grid of the fence. Wind tousled our hair and we squeezed together to stay warm on the surprisingly cold summer night. As the sky turned to periwinkle and starlight began to push through the atmosphere, Jamison finally spoke.

“Hey TJ?”

“Yeah?”

“We should go home.”

“Yeah.”

We stayed there for hours more before he finally walked me home. We stayed in our spot, gazing at the stars scattered across the sky like glitter slowly falling to the earth. We traced each others’ fingertips, just enjoying the peace away from everyone enjoying the Circus. All that seemed so far away. We felt free out here, like we could push past the evergreens and run far, far, away. Jamison got up first, and held out his hand to help me up. I took it, but stumbled into his embrace due to my sleepy legs. I looked up at him. He looked back. A moment came. This time, I didn’t let it pass.

\--------------

The circus was here for three weeks, as always. Though I always avoided the affair, Jamison made me go on the last day. He said there were rides I would love, and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he was right. I had always been an adrenaline junkie, just not enough of one to sacrifice my morals to go to the Circus. I’d sacrifice them for Jamison, at least.

Bulbous, multicolored lights arched over our heads and we walked under a rainbow tinsel arch to board the train that held the Circus. Rides surrounded us, from an impressively tall roller coaster to simple teacup rides. Red and white tents were scattered across the wooden floor as well; signs advertising fortune tellers, impossible animals, and spectacular shows hung over each entrance.

“Before we do anything, you  _ have  _ to see the main show,” Jamison said, pulling me into the largest tent erected in the center of all the festivities. Neon texts advertised the “Main Show” at its entrance.

The tent was larger than it seemed from the outside, with a sizable pit in the center surrounded by elevated seats. The seats were almost filled, but we managed to find adjacent empty seats in the center of the crowd. We barely had time to sit down before the lights dimmed, leaving us in pitch black. I grasped for Jamison’s hand. His fingers laced with mine and I squeezed as tight as I could. I never liked the circus, and the darkness wasn’t helping.

“IMAGINE” began a deep voice, coming from all corners of the stadium. “A SHINING LIGHT”. A beam coming from the ceiling illuminated a single cloaked figure in the center of the stage. The light seemed to be coming from the roof, almost as if the moon itself was lighting this show. Before the show could continue, however, muffled yelping came from below our seats. It sounded animalistic, similar to the pigs slaughtered at the farmer’s market once a week. The audience shuffled, but before long, the noise quieted and some far away door slammed shut. The show continued. What followed was a spectacular show filled with what I could only assume were holograms and other fabulous special effects. Even if I did have a bad feeling about this place, they knew how to put on a show.

We left the tent after everyone else, giving people ample time to clear the isles. We sauntered back onto the now considerably less packed pathways between attractions. Jamie pointed to a ride in the back corner, attached to the wall of another train car.

“Love Tunnel?” I scoffed. “A little cheesy, don’t you think?”

“Just cheese enough,” he said, and gave me that smile I couldn’t say no to.

As we approached the entrance, the woman running the ride gestured us over.

“Come to the Love Tunnel! The most romantic ride at the Circus!”

“That’s the plan!” I yelled back.

Spoiler alert: it was hardly romantic. Half-naked babies dangling from strings bobbed around us as our boat floated through the nearly stationary river. For how high-tech everything else was, this ride seemed pathetic in comparison. As we were pushed through ruby streamers, I turned to face Jamie.

“Romanic, huh.” I rolled my eyes.

He ran his fingers through my hair and rested his hand on my cheek. His emerald eyes tore into my soul, and all I could think about were his lips on mine.

“Anything is romantic with you.”

He pulled me in close, and it happened again. Our lips touched and he drew me in, pressing the small of my back as he pulled me closer. This lasted longer than the peck last night. It was probably seconds. It felt like years. And I didn’t want it to end.

\--------------

We agreed to meet at our normal spot for the final fireworks at midnight. I brought a blanket and a bottle of white wine I smuggled from my parent’s fridge. This wasn’t the best view, but we just wanted to be alone. I waited for him to show up, but every time something rustled in the distance it was some animal, or once, a couple that came out here to hook up. I checked my watch. 11:59 PM.

A bang sounded above my head, and crimson light shone into the woods. Where was Jamison? He was never late for anything.  _ Nothing _ . Once, he left an hour early for school because he felt like something  _ might _ happen to stop him from getting to school on time. Turns out, a tree fell and blocked the road not 30 minutes after he left. He and I were good with that. Having instincts.

As the fireworks raged on, a knot in my stomach began to tighten and ice ran through my veins. I thought of all the things that could have happened. Should have happened. His parents forced him to stay and watch the fireworks with them. He couldn’t find the cups he was supposed to bring. He was stuck talking to someone he didn’t really care about. But I knew where he was.

The train.

The thought creeped into my mind, refusing to leave. I had no way of knowing. It had only been a minute, but there was this knowing that I couldn’t dismiss. It was a cold stone of knowledge stuck in my throat. The train left after the fireworks.

I had to act fast.

Before I knew it, I had run to the gate and pushed aside the evergreen fronds to reveal the hole I noticed the other day. It wasn’t big enough for me, but it was going to have to be. I laid on my stomach and forced myself through the gap. First my hands, then my head, then the rest. The wire scraped my skin and left wounds etched across my body. I couldn’t let Jamie get taken. Despite my conviction, somehow I knew that I wasn’t coming back either.

As I lifted myself up, I hesitated. A meadow I have looked at many times before stretched to my right, away from the train. I could leave. I could go to the meadow, try to find out what’s out there. I could scavenge for food and go where I please. But the thought passed in an instant.

_ Jamie _

I ran alongside the railway, the typically barren tracks topped by the gargantuan train. With the pine trees to my left and monochrome train to my right, telling distance was almost impossible, and by reflection, time was as well. How long had I run for? 2 miles? 30 minutes? Was I too late? The only thing that kept my feet in motion was the knowledge that the fireworks continued to burst overheard. While most people just hear the explosion, the screams the fireworks made on their ascent seemed louder than they have ever before. By the time I could see the faint light of an entrance into the train I felt although I might collapse. Despite my primal urge to get on the train, I knew that I couldn’t get on gasping for Jamie. I took a minute to catch my breath, surveying the area.

The bustling circus grounds were empty, save for a few yellow bulbs pathetically illuminating the space just so people wouldn’t trip. Two guards watched the loading platform, but none were past the fence. This would make my infiltration substantially easier.

I gingerly lifted myself onto the platform and carefully crouched to make my silhouette as small as possible. While usually hidden, a door lay on each side of the car leading to identical smooth hallways the color of concrete.

_ Left _ .

I don’t know why, but I chose the left door. The same way I had of knowing where Jamison was, I knew I had to go left.

I walked in, fluorescent lights blinding me before my eyes adjusted to the brightness. I looked up, realizing something haunting. 

The hallway didn’t seem to end.

Logically, it ended somewhere, but seeing just how vast the train was almost stole my last fragments of hope. This was  _ ridiculous _ . The sheer number of assumptions I was making befuddled even me, but it was too late to back out now. I walked along the hallway in a similar repetitive trance as running alongside the train. My fingers dragged along the wall and bumped every time they reached one of the frames of the doors inladen in the walls. Which door do I open? All seemed identical, and it was likely that I would only get one chance to pick the right door. Laughter came from some.

Screams from others.

While walking, a change in the wall texture caused me to startle from my trance. One of the doors my fingers brushed over was cracked open. Not enough to even see, but enough to feel. I pressed my ear against the door. Silence.

I opened the door.

I walked into a poorly lit room lined with iron panels, a menagerie of people littering the floor. Some stifling sobs in corners, while others sat tall awaiting their mysterious fate. Most looked up at me while I entered, though some had clearly given up before anything had started.

Jamison sat in the back corner of the room, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed.

“Jamie” I whispered.

His eyes snapped open. Instead of the romantic embrace I expected, he began yelling.

“No, no!” He ran up to me, pushing me in the direction of the door. You have to get out of here, you have to-”

The door slammed shut, and a lock clicked.

We were stuck.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Death

We stared at each other for a second, taking the other in. Jamison was presumably mad, but a gentleness in his eyes made me think he was at least a little glad I was here. Our gaze was interrupted from a feminine voice coming from an unseen speaker somewhere in the ceiling.

“So, one more than expected, but we always take volunteers!” 

Fluorescent lights flicked on and filled the room with a sickly white glow.

“Hi, I’m Stacy, and I’ll be the invigilator for session 86, group b. You will be subject to a series of tests. Do not protest. Do not disobey.” Her apathy while speaking unnerved me. Like she didn’t know how ominous her message sounded. Or didn’t care.

“You will be handcuffed and removed from the room one by one. Follow the guard that picks you up. They will process you, and assign you a room with three other subjects. And just remember, they choose who you bunk with. So I’d be nice. Subject one-” the monitor crackled for a moment.

“Subject 0, Thomas James Mills, please move to the door.”

My face paled, and Jamie took my hand.

“It’ll be OK.” He gave me a small kiss on the cheek. “See you soon.” He pushed me towards the door.

Tears were already beginning to well in my eyes, but I refuse to be brought to tears so easily. I remembered what my mother always told me when I was nervous.

Shoulders back.

I walked to the door and corrected my posture.

Chin up.

The door swung open, a towering woman behind it with clearly defined muscles straining her ash jumpsuit. Black hair lay in a rushed bun on her head; ungraceful, but good enough to hold itself in case of an altercation. Fighting wouldn’t have been possible for me anyway.

Eyes down.

She smirked.

“You’re in for a treat. Hands out.”

I outstretched my hands and she forced a pair of gleaming handcuffs around my wrists. The metal dug into my skin, red marks forming as a product of her overeagerness for control.

I wasn’t sure where the sass came from, but the suddenness of my peril made me angrier than I expected. Her heat ignited my fire.

“So do you jerk off after getting a power trip, or do you just not know how to put on handcuffs?”

The people behind me gasped, including Jamie.

She looked down at me and spat on the floor.

“You’ll pay for that, rat.”

She clasped the chains in between my wrists and yanked. I stumbled forward but regained my balance before she began to drag me through the hall.

“Rats? Is that what you grow in that nest on your head?”

She pulled harder, surprisingly damaged by such a superficial insult. “At least I’m a real person,” she mumbled.

“Is that what you tell yourself to make yourself feel less like a piece of shit when you drag people around?”

More upset by my comebacks than I would have expected, she began to jog, keeping my chains clasped in her right hand to force me to jog with her. While this may have been more of a punishment if we had to run longer, we were at our destination in less than 10 seconds. She let go of my chains to hit a wall, revealing a hidden control panel. She rushed to type in a passcode while covering the interface with her other hand. Both hands were shaking. There was a click, and the door unlocked. She grabbed me by the collar and threw me inside the brightly lit room.

She looked at me with a rage I have never seen before.

“One more year. One more year of this bullshit, and then I’m out.”

“FUCK YOU,” I retorted.

She slammed the door.

I looked around me. The room was stark white due to the pale rubber lining almost every surface. A single showerhead sat in the far right corner with a drain to accompany it. A man wearing the same ashen jumpsuit sat opposite of the showerhead.

“Jesus- What’d you do to piss Nellie off?”

I refused to answer.

“Whatever. Take your clothes off.”

I refused to move.

“Do you want me to taze you?” He dangled his obsidian taser from his fingertips. I looked down at my legs, and wrists, both already swelling from the handcuffs and my slam across the floor. Rugburn covered my right forearm.

I started to strip.

The man watched me undress, and I watched him in return. To distract myself from the humiliation, I listed things I noticed about him.

Brown hair. Short hair. Gray eyes.

Finally, I took my underwear off.

“Turn around.”

My eyes moved to the showerhead.

Silver. Round.

“Bend over.”  
The heat of the flashlight shone in places. It shouldn’t have. I felt violated. 

Small. Bent.

“Stand up.”

I stood up.

“Shower.”

I showered. Without soap, I thought it would be useless, but it didn’t take me long to notice chemicals starting to burn my skin despite the frigid water. Where I had been injured burned the most, but I managed to keep myself composed despite the excruciating pain. When I exited the shower, my whole body was red and raw. Wordlessly, the man handed me a crimson jumpsuit, accompanied by black underwear, socks, and running shoes. I got dressed as quickly as possible. Once I had slipped on my final shoe, the door opened and another similarly muscled man stood in front of me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled. This time, I didn’t argue.

After a 10-minute walk farther into the train, the man stopped at another door inladen in the wall, entered a code, and pushed me inside. The inside contained two bunk beds, a toilet, and a sink, all the same stark white seemingly ubiquitous throughout the train. I made my way to the bottom bunk on the left and flopped onto the duvet covering the mattress. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

I was startled awake by a hand gently shaking me and was immediately thrown into fight or flight mode. Before I could throw any punches, however, I realized it was Jamie. He pulled me into a hug.

“How did we get to room together? I wasn’t nice.” I asked.

Jamie put my face in his hands.

“I was always the nice one.” That was true. I tended to be short with people, but he calmed me down. “Now scoot over, I’m tired as hell.”

Despite the beds being only meant for one person, with Jamie’s arms wrapped around my body we managed to fit two. The other people in the room were a 50-something-year-old lady and a man who appeared to be in his 30s, but they paid little attention to us. Before long, both Jamie and I were pulled into a slumber. After an indeterminate amount of time, we were awoken by the buzzing of fluorescent lights as they blinked on.

A familiar voice crackled to life above our heads. “Group 86b-3, you have 30 minutes to prepare for extraction.”

There wasn’t much to do to ‘prepare’, but we did what we could. We drank from the faucet, rinsed our mouths, and unfortunately used the bathroom in front of everyone else. I don’t think anyone cared, though. We were preoccupied with wondering what extraction implied.

Jamie and I waited on our bed, which he insisted on making, fingers woven together. Suddenly, the door opened to reveal another burly guard adorning a grey jumpsuit.

“We’re not gonna cuff you this time.” He growled. “Just stay between me and the other guard, and we won’t have any problems. Got it?” Everyone nodded. “Alright, everyone out!”

All four of us shuffled to the door and I held onto Jamie’s hand tighter. In the hallway, we were sandwiched by two guards stopping us from going to either side of the hallway.

This was by far the longest walk; it took hours. No words were spoken throughout the trip, but Jamie and I would occasionally squeeze each others’ hands to remind the other we were still here. I couldn’t tell you how long exactly it took though. The hallways were as monotonous as I had remembered, and there was no way for me to distinguish where we were from where we have been. Eventually, however, we began to make out a ruby door at the far end of the hallway. We finally reached the end of the train.

The door was painted a bright red with “TESTING AREA: DO NOT ENTER” printed in large white text in the center. The front guard hit the wall, entered a code, and the door opened to reveal a steel room with four burlap backpacks lining the ground. The guards pushed us inside.

“Grab a backpack. It has food, water, a blanket, and a knife. Good luck.” And with that vague message, the door slammed shut. Jamie and I finally let go of each other’s hands and put on our backpacks.

“What’s the knife for?” I hissed.

“I don’t know,” he whispered back.

We stood around, bewildered, for around a minute. Then, the room started to shake. Jamie pulled me close. It felt as though the walls would collapse in on us.

Instead of the walls falling in, however, the walls fell out. Aside from the wall behind us connected to the rest of the train, the steel walls fell outward to reveal a grassy steppe expanding before us, with mossy stone off in the distance. Chartreuse shrubs dotted the landscape. Azure sky stretched overhead.

We thought we were at the end of the train. Turns out we were just at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! It's slow going right now cause I don't have much motivation, but let me know if you want more. :)


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